Reason #1

I’m mostly interested in how high this particular count gets in the time to come.  That being said…..

“You stop drinking because you know it’s time to stop, but you don’t want to: That’s drinkability.” -August Busch III

August, you ignorant slut!  That’s not drinkability, that’s a slight breeze away from alcoholism.  In a drive to move as many product units as possible rather than strive for a product to be proud of, AB (Anheuser Busch), as well as M-C (Miller-Coors), have warped the definition of drinkability into a sales measurement.  If they are selling eleventy billion (that’s right) barrels in a year, in their minds, the beer must be delicious!

The most drinkable substance in the world is water.  That is the gold standard.  Very little taste, very smooth and palatable.  Water pretty much has that market cornered.  AB and M-C are, for some reason, trying to encroach on this market.  They are basically trying to make beer flavored water, when it all comes down to it.  The problem is, there are millions of people supporting this through their purchase; voting with the almighty dollar in the marketplace.  I was guilty of this as much as anyone else, perhaps even more.  I used to drink Coors Light like a champ, and for many years.  We all have dark pasts, don’t judge me.  Before that, I used to drink Natty Light because you could get a case for $11.  It’s economics.  So, if the argument comes down to pure economics, I will not persecute you.  There were times Natty was what we could afford for beer pong and funneling; in such extreme cases, taste is not an issue at all.  High school and college were tight times, and my taste buds suffered for it.  At this point, I can only hope the damage was not irreversible, but I guess I’ll never know.  The argument I have a hard time entertaining is people who actually try to justify AB and M-C in regards to taste.  Don’t do it.  Seriously, don’t.  Stop talking under your breath while you read this, claiming that Miller has won 5 consecutive blah blah piss awards, or Bud must be making a good product to be around for yada yada yada years….just stop.  It’s not pretty.  Just own up to the fact that either: A) you are cheap; B) you have NO taste; C) you have fallen prey to the giant marketing machine; D) you don’t really like beer in the first place but for some reason won’t admit it; or E) some combination of A, B, C, and/or D.

If you are reading this and it’s hitting close to home, do not fret.  B, C, and D are easily treated through education and experimentation.  I am a firm believer that there is a beer for everyone, and that particular beer does not have to be a mass-produced can of liquid awful.  Symptom A, unfortunately, you are on your own.  Cheapness can be changed, but that one is up to you.  I am not a financial advisor, nor am I a psych person.  FIgure it out yourself, tough guy.

For the future, this blog will continue to delve into the many reasons why I have umbrage with AB and M-C, despite many years of support.  I’m going to be like that ex that keeps talking about how good they have it now despite always harping on and returning to past indiscretions.  The only difference between me and the typical ex is that I am actually telling the truth!  My eyes were opened, and now I wish to return the favor for others blindly stumbling around in mass-produced beer hell.  My main issues with the big boys are actually their business practices more than their products, but rest assured, my shotgun approach will hit many and most targets, despite the category.


3 Responses to “Reason #1”

  1. Jess #1 Says:

    I’m impressed with today’s reading. Kudos to your start on the journey of trying to change the minds of those that do not know any better.

  2. I am an admitted drinker of both MC and AB but as you said, arguing that these are anything more than piss water is nonsense. If a Coors is gushing down my gullet it’s either rushing from a funnel, or its chased by several more during a heavy drinking game session. If one isn’t looking to dull their senses, drinking mass produced crap is completely foolish. Personally, if I am looking to have just one or two drinks, I am a scotch on the rocks kind of guy. I would love to know your opinions on good scotches or whiskey. Widening one’s palette is always a good idea.

  3. JemOcho Says:

    Absolutely brilliant! I try to explain this same thing to people only to be frustrated by some as if trying to explain why the Yankees suck to a person that doesn’t even know what a shortstop is. These people think the beer must be great because you can buy it anywhere, just like the Yankees must be great because of that cute interlocking N and Y on the hat. They have no intelligence and no imagination. If I also find out they like Duke, the Cowboys or LeBron, I just punch myself in the face and walk away.

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